Although divorce is common, and there are many who come to the point where they feel it's the only way, there are still those people who feel a calling to ride out the storms of their marriage. These people believe that regardless of the circumstances, the thought of breaking their vows seems to feel like more of a burden than whatever is going wrong in their marriage. If that's how you feel, you may find yourself struggling to stay encouraged at times, and struggling to keep your mind focused on the bright side of things.
These days most people will encourage you to just quit if your marriage gets to hard. The belief is that love is not supposed to be hard, and if a person makes you unhappy, then the two of you just do not belong together.
I happen to think that although we are programmed as women to crave the romance that comes with walks along the beach, and a prince Charming who will move heaven and earth to make you happy, but that's not always very realistic.
The truth seems to be that the average husband has to be lovingly and patiently taught how to do all those things over time. The good news is God has given women lots of gifts to help make that happen, and those gifts are most effective when they are guided by a genuine desire to minister love to someone. The challenge is that depending on which guy you chose, you either have a little work to do, or a whole lot of work to do.
That is why it helps to get educated on how to choose a good guy, by examining the information like the kind I share in my e-book for women who are seeking some guidelines. This type of information will help you steer clear of the kind of men who posses the characteristics that often cause you more grief than you can reasonably manage.
Most men by nature are highly insensitive to the needs of women in most situations, and it's not always intentional, it's just a difference in how both genders think, feel and see things.
The truth is Love and Marriage is like a seed that you plant. You have to nurture it, and you grow it with time, love, perseverance, and patience.
No one tells you much about that part while you're planning a wedding, but it's true. Your husband most likely won't come into your life as the perfect man. He will come as a man who needs to be groomed to love you as the unique and individual woman you are, and that simply takes time.
As a wife, you have to change your perception from wanting your husband to naturally get everything right all the time. A realistic perspective will keep you from being so readily disappointed when he does not live up to your expectations immediately.
The point is, have patience with him. He is learning, and so are you.
Married couples who stay in the race are actually learning the most wonderful lesson of all. They are learning how to truly love someone. Love is patient, kind and long suffering and very few people can love their spouse the way that God models His love for us.
It's not always simple and easy, but it's also not simple and easy for God to watch us, as we do things that disappoint Him, or as we take His grace and mercy for granted.
However, His mercies are still new everyday, and we all seem to diligent collect on those gracious second chances that He continuously gives to us. He gives them to us in hopes that one day we will be a lot better than we were before, and a lot better at giving grace to those who let us down as well.
So to keep things in perspective, the next time your husband does something that annoys you or something that seems unforgivable, remember the prayer that Jesus taught us.
"Father forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us." God has put us in charge of our own measure of grace that we will receive from Him. The more grace you give to others, the more grace that God gives to you.
I encourage you to pray for your husband all the time. Strive to keep your marriage vows. Focus to truly love your husband with an unconditional love and support that does not change with each bump in the road.
If he really has truly bad issues, then he really needs your love, prayer, and faith in God to transform him into a better man for you and your family.
When people are at their worst, that's when most people abandon them.
As his wife, you can be his number one intercessor and prayer warrior. Men need that kind of dedicated and unconditional love from their wives. It ministers to them. If God has called and blessed you to be a wife, do it, and do it well.
If you're unmarried start by learning how to make a good choice.
I also offer Virtuous Life Coaching for Love and Marriage.
If you are interested just contact me or schedule an on-line session on my website. Remember to stay encouraged, and may God Bless you and your Marriage.
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